Why You're So Afraid of Change (and What You Can Do About It)

Wonderful Lifehacker article.... Monte

Larger Image
Adam Dachis
Change freaks us out—probably even more than public speaking, but it's the sort of amorphous issue that we don't think about because it manifests itself subtly in so many ways. Whether a relationship starts or ends, you're moving, you've got a new job, or you've lost someone you love, change—whether it's good or bad—causes stress. Here's how it works and how to handle it without losing your mind.

The earlier you learned something, the harder it is to change. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is a saying for a reason.

We Seek Out People Like Us to Avoid ChangeFull size

Because new information bothers our brains, we tend to find friends and form groups that reinforce our beliefs—whether they're correct or not. When many people agree, it's easy to discount the opinions of others in the face of undeniable logic. This occurs because of a phenomenon known as the illusion of asymmetric insight. David McRaney, writer of the blog and book about self-delusion You Are Not So Smart, explains:

The illusion of asymmetric insight makes it seem as though you know everyone else far better than they know you, and not only that, but you know them better than they know themselves. You believe the same thing about groups of which you are a member. As a whole, your group understands outsiders better than outsiders understand your group, and you understand the group better than its members know the group to which they belong.

This lovely phenomenon gives you cause to discount conflicting information as bias and stick with what you know. Essentially, you attack the possibility of change because you think you know better than everyone else and have the friends to back you up.

We Hate to Feel Like We Wasted Our Time and Effort

Full size

Sometimes change involves a significant loss, and our brains hate loss. When we invest ourselves emotionally in anything, it becomes harder to change because we don't want to lose all the time and effort we already exerted. As a result, we have a hard time letting go of a project we know deep down will fail. We also struggle to end doomed relationships because we're terrible at accepting the whole thing was for naught. In reality, time isn't wasted but our brains like to see the entire time as a loss rather than just a part of the inevitable conclusion. If you've ever played a game of Farmville and struggled to stop, you know exactly how this feels.

Lots more ... Read Full Article